Stanley....

     I only occasionally do the silly "What Character are You" surveys on the Facebook. Another one popped up on my feed the other day and I couldn't resist. It was "What Character from The Office are You?" I really enjoyed the show when it was on and I occasionally watch reruns. As I clicked on the page, I thought to myself about what character it would say I'd be.

     Would I be Jim, the star-crossed lover full of unrequited love who finally has his love requited (is requited a word?)?

     Would I be Michael Scott, the manager who everyone is embarrassed for and by on a daily basis, a man out of touch with his own awkwardness, the bumbling reason for many of the office's problems yet the one responsible for repairing most of its faults....

     Would I be Kevin, the numbers guy, the man-child with youthful insights full of the insecurity that middle school breeds and most of us grow out of....

     No, I didn't imagine being any of those characters, or Oscar, or Ryan (I'm not that dishonest or evil), nor Roy (I'm not a meathead). I'm not uber creepy like Creed, I have more self esteem than Toby....

     Ahh, I know who I'd be. Darryl. He plays the keys, sings with a silky smooth voice, plays basketball really well....wait, that last bit rules out Darryl. 

     Who does that leave. Crap, Andy Bernard. He sings, does a cappella....is lovably nerdy to a point...bicycles to work...no, wait. He drives a Prius. Couldn't be me (phew!).

     So who does that leave. Ah yes, Dwight Schrute. He knows everything, grows beets, sees hitting a goose on the way to work as a miracle, due to all the fresh goose grease...yup, this survey would find me as being Dwight Schrute. I guess I could live with that comparison, although I would have been a little better about plotting and carrying out revenge on Jim, or at least I'd like to think so.

     I didn't get any of the aforementioned characters. Who did I get? Stanley Hudson, the quiet, stoic hard worker who tells it like it is. He doesn't buy into Michael's ridiculous team building activities, he doesn't bother anyone at work, and most of the time he just wants to go have some quiet time at home. He likes soft pretzels and it is alluded to that he was a founding member of the Black Panther Party. 

     As always, I've been reflecting about this characterization. I do see many parallels between myself and Stanley. I think telling it like it is is important. Might get me in trouble occasionally, as it does Stanley, but it's honest, it's authentic, it's real. 

     I've been subjected, as we all have, lately to many political ads, debates, candidate forums. We could all use some Stanley. I would really like to hear one candidate call the other candidate a nincompoop when they say something stupid or lacking truth, or common sense. I think we could change our debates to a points based system, with candidates earning points for calling their opponents on bull, except that they'd have to use like nincompoop, nothing that wanders into foul language. If a candidate used a bad word, they'd lose all their points, yet they'd earn points for creative, folksy insults that would be acceptable language at a church picnic.

     "Well Donald, that's the biggest bit of mularkey I've heard since Uncle Bob told me I could grow a cactus in the swamp during a blizzard...."

     "Hillary, if I believed that, I go get my hockey stick so we could play volleyball with that wad of cud you just spit up..."

    No, it doesn't have to make sense, it just can't be offensive. Maybe it would make the debates more substantive, as perhaps it would makes the candidates shut up and think about the next folkism they could hurl. It couldn't make the debates less substantive.

     I'd like to implore you to think about what character you might be. Why? Then go find a silly survey on the Facebook and find out if you were right. It's got to be better and more informative than listening to all this election mularkey.

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